Realization

[eredien]

Oh my God it's been a decade since I started college.

I could have lived without realizing that this week.
Even though I had no career I was usually able to say, "well at least I have figured out friendship and love a lot better in the last few years, and am working on building a career for myself and making myself mentally healthy." But now I can't even say that.

So freaking depressing

Comments

[zdenka]

I know the feeling.

[ebenezer.livejournal.com]

I wonder how your feelings compare to those of someone I know who left his
girlfriend and alienated his friends in favor of a fleeting opportunity in a
tragically short-lived line of work at an intensely political organization.
When his job and all jobs like it were inexorably eliminated, he spent many
intensely nervewracking months attempting to find a modicum of success
elsewhere within this organization but ultimately failed, all against the
backdrop of a rapidly deteriorating economy, which he could barely see because
he was so close to the carnage. He spent the following months in a listless
stupor, making no personal or professional strides at all, sinking deeper into
a sense of certainty that the ultimate, no-of-all-nothing mediocrity had
finally caught up with him.

Anyway, he seems to be doing OK now. Hang in there; the future starts today.

[thoughtsdriftby.livejournal.com]

Knowing none who actually ended up where they thought they would be over 10 years. Three high-school friends seem to have given up because they were not successful enough, two tossing career/spouse/friends/family and now angry at the world.

Accessing your life is always disappointing to all those with any drive and imagination. Decisions that might have been a leap forward if only taken, others taken that wasted years. Learning to be satisfied in attempts to make the best decision at the time with what is known and then the next, that it is a bit like stumbling around. You try to take a good forward step each time, but it is only years later you can look back at how you did.

From here I've watch some pretty bold steps and a couple pure leaps of faith. Thinking you are now further along than most, but yes, not where you want to be. So, you have taken another step in a generally forward direction with a confidence and mental viewpoint you didn't have ten years ago. The then you likely could not have.

Now, if you ever get love and friendship figured out... let me know, I am experienced but still in need of help in that area.

[kaypendragon.livejournal.com]

Irritatingly, I am where my Mom thought I would be. (Although, not where I thought.) Happily, she does not say "I told you so."

[thoughtsdriftby.livejournal.com]

curious of the context, where are you and why is that iritating?

[kaypendragon.livejournal.com]

It's mostly irritating that she knew.

I'm working at a public library, just like Mom. Which I do, in fact, love doing. I just didn't expect to love it when Mom told me I would.

[thoughtsdriftby.livejournal.com]

Seeming a small irritation, just you didn't know at the time.
You decided to give it a try and it worked out, that is a win.
Many hold themselves back from even trying, deciding the result without ever knowing.

My sibling is very into libraries as her profession, her lifetime career.

Me, I have a profession (engineering) and work/income, but it more to pay for things. I save up to do a small part of what I really want to do, those activities generally do not provide a living income on their own. So, I'm not where I thought/dreamed I would be or even with who I thought I would be with. Still, I'm not giving up.

[shatterstripes.livejournal.com]

It's been like fifteen years since I left college And</em since I left animation school. And I still don't have what you could call a "career".

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think I've ever met anyone who will confidently say that - I'm not denying that's depressing. In my experience however, the more you try and achieve those things, the harder they get. Only when I relax and try and enjoy the things in life I like, will I - when I look back on things - get the impression I'm maybe making some kind of progress. Just be a little selfish, have some fun, visit some old friends.

take care

[kaypendragon.livejournal.com]

One of the problems with depression is that it feeds itself. It's easier to stay depressed when depressing things keep occurring to you.

So, what DID you accomplish in the last decade? It doesn't matter if it was an established goal or not. You have certainly done something worth celebrating.