Parenting

[eredien]

“Say what you want to say about me,” Palin said, “but I raised a combat vet. You can’t take that away from me.”

I truly don't understand what she's saying here. She raised a son who grew up to make his own decisions about which institutions and ideals to support. That's parenting in a nutshell. Does she want accolades for happening to be the mother of her son, because when her son was able to make his own decisions about which institutions and ideals to support, he decided to support institutions and ideals whose aims his mom happened to agree with?

If he'd decided to support an institution or ideal she did not agree with, would she then reject identical accolades from those who told her that she must be proud to have raised such a courageous, self-aware, self-sacrificing child, because the institution or ideal he decided to support was something she could not support?

Why does it seem like she wants to take credit for a decision her son made because she is his parent? It's not just Palin--my parents do this too, and I think a lot of parents do. If we make decisions that our parents agree with, they say that it's because they raised us right, and if we make decisions our parents disagree with, they not only say that they can't support our decision, but wonder where they went wrong raising us. It's natural for a parent to rejoice at the success of a child and be sad at their child's failures. But the measure of success of a parent as a parent must be composed of more than the parent's perception of what their child's successes or failures are, and the measure of success of a human being who has children must be composed of more than that human's perceived success or failure as a parent.

Comments

[seishonagon.livejournal.com]

Okay, for once I have to actually defend Palin. I think the comment you mention here makes more sense in context.

This statement was a direct response to a request by the organizers of Glen Beck's rally, asking participants to avoid overt mention of political issues, and the military in general was listed as one to avoid. Her response is that she can't ignore that, as the mother of a military son.

[navrins]

I think it's reasonable for a person to be proud of raising the sort of child they wanted to raise. If she wanted to raise the sort of son who would join the military and be successful there, and she did that, then I see no reason she shouldn't be proud and happy for having done that. I would hope that if he'd made different decisions she would still support and love him, even if she felt less satisfied with it, but it's fair to be happy your kid turned out the way you hoped he would.

Which is not to say anybody ELSE should necessarily use the same judgement. I might congratulate her if she'd raised a son who became a peace activist, even if she herself felt unsatisfied with that.

[zdenka]

It's not like having a child who goes to war only affects the child. The entire family undergoes the disruption of having a loved one away in a foreign country and the fear that their child/husband/father could die at any moment, be terribly wounded, or be permanently affected by the mental/emotional conditions of war. It's not the same to say "I raised a combat vet" as "I raised a math professor" or "I raised a librarian." If a mother is willing to send her son off to war, that says something about her as well as about him.

[tixen.livejournal.com]

I've found, as a general rule, trying to understand what Sarah Palin is getting at is generally an unhealthy practice that's bound to result in serious mind trauma.