World's Worst Advice Columnist

[eredien]

Lucinda Rosenfeld, you are nominated for winner of the world's worst advice columnist.

You know, I feel kind of sorry for Lucinda if this is her understanding of friendship; I feel even sorrier for her friends (if she has any left after they read her column). The only friends I have who wouldn't come help me if I called them from the hospital at 4 am are ones that live hundreds of miles away, and those would probably send cards and cookies.

What kind of person has the mindset that it's ok to reject a friend because their hospitalization inconveniences you? The 4 am phone call is an opportunity to show friendship, not a reason to reject it! Also, nice default assumption that the woman is lying and/or did something to deserve it.

Comments

[batshua]

Wow, what the hell is up with Advice Columnist Fail?

I swear, I think maybe *I* should write an advice column just because I could do it better than the dipwads I've been reading about who just plain screw up horrifically.

Dude, if you manage wake me at 4 AM and tell me you are in the hospital, I am so there, provided, you know, I've got transportation. Cards, cookies, teddy bears, flowers, they're all yours.

[fiddledragon.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's...special. Being carless, I wouldn't be much help unless a friend conveniently ended up in the hospital across the street from me, but I'd at least offer to help call mutual friends who'd be able to get there, or arrange to bring over soup the next day, or...something.

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

The 4 AM phone call is, IMHO, an honor. It's 4 AM and your world is fucked and I'm the person you chose to call? Being the person other people rely on in times of crisis is not a burden, it's a gift

If I got a phone call that someone I loved was alone in the hospital in the middle of the night, you bet your sweet ass I'd be out on the street trying to hail a cab, which is a hell of a lot more dangerous than driving in my own car would be. And you know, I've actually done that, hailed a cab in the middle of the night, not because my friend was in the hospital, but because she needed me nonetheless, and that's just what you do. (I grant that my current employment status gives me a great deal of flexibility when it comes to things like this, which not everyone has, but still)

[gaudior.livejournal.com]

This. Yes. Very much yes.

Also, way to blame the victim (they thought you were lying? Really?).

[fiddledragon.livejournal.com]

Yes, this.

[circuit-four.livejournal.com]

I'm also shocked by the sheer arrogance of her "apology" -- using it as an opportunity to pat herself on the back for causing a controversy is just appalling and shows she has no consideration for her readers whatsoever. If you're provoking debate by being a complete idiot and missing the obvious implications of one of your letters, that's not a point of PRIDE for god's sake!

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

... seriously?

Hell, if someone who was just an acquaintance called me from the hospital after being slipped what is essentially a RAPE DRUG and needed me, I'd call a cab so fast the world's orbit would change. Unbelievable.

[eredien]

I like how she was all, "gee, I didn't think about it being a rape drug! That possibility never crossed my mind!" I was thinking, "woman, what world are you living in?"

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

Alas, I suspect America from 1776-2009 :(

But yeah I'm just reading her "apology" right now. Wow. She really is content to let her ass hang out in the middle of a tea party, isn't she?

[eredien]

Alas, I suspect America from 1776-2009 :(

Mmmm...do you mean the way in which the first thought many folks have with rape is "blame the victim," such that it takes a while for any other thought to filter through their head?

[wherdragon.livejournal.com]

That was my assumption, though I didn't write it.

Did you catch the part where she also kinda implied that part of being a young woman is getting date-rape-drugged?

from the first link:
But only nuns make it out of youth without a few ambulance rides.

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

Oh and I also loved how Rosenfeld pretty much accused the letter writer of making up the story, and repeated the misogynist chestnut that women sometimes make up stories like this for "attention" or to "excuse irresponsible behavior." You know, just like women who report rapes do!

I may just sign that petition. What a callous woman!

[davidglasser.livejournal.com]

I did once have a girlfriend fail to visit me in the hospital for three days. Who lived across the street from the hospital.

Now that was the easiest breakup ever!

[eredien]

Wow, really? Poor.

[davidglasser.livejournal.com]

Oh, it was long overdue and has made for a great story for 7 years now.

[upstart-crow.livejournal.com]

Wow, I am sorry to hear that. That sucks.

/nosy stranger

[sovay]

A spouse or even a boyfriend? Yes, it would be his or her duty to haul ass to said hospital at 4 a.m. But your single female friends who are already, presumably tucked in their beddy-bies? I have to admit that, if I got a call like yours (or your mother's) in the middle of the night, I'd do what I could from home, but would be hard-pressed to jump in my car until morning.

I assume this person has no friends.

[eredien]

Like I said--if she had any before they read the column, I would be shocked if she had any now.

And if she does, I hope it's because they aren't as willing to give up on her as she herself would seem to give up on them.

[marmota.livejournal.com]

Appalling.

[taliabear.livejournal.com]

Shit lady, my best friend is ENCOURAGED to call me at wild hours if she needs me. What the hell kind of sucky-ass friendships have YOU had? o_O

[postrodent.livejournal.com]

Wow, this here is some shameful shit -- an impressive display of callousness and an ignorance so deep it has to be willful. Has she been living in a capsule for I don't often wish for other people to lose their jobs, but damn.

[a4yroldfaerie.livejournal.com]

for the record, if it is 4am, and you are in the hospital, I would be there if you called.

I hate the prioritizing of romantic relationship over friend. I've been with the same person 5 years and been involved for longer, but sometimes "boyfriend" is the term for the guy you've been dating ten weeks (as opposed to teh friends for ten years).

So much else wrong, but it has all been addressed.