"A Bit Closer to Nine" - Indigo Girls Filk

[eredien]

With apologies and reverences to the Indigo Girls. Original lyrics to "Closer to Fine".


You want to hear of twenty-somethings' strife?
(Current students, I implore you: stay in college your whole life!)
The best thing my BA ever did for me
Was to help employers take me seriously (that was a joke; they didn't call).
Ramen cheaply fills a hunger that's insatiable;
The announcer on the subway's hard to hear.
The many resumes I sent were thick as blankets,
but the only temp job that I got was thankless: this one's permanent, though it's a bore.

Too broke to go the doctor, much less visit the mountains
Friends have acquired children; co-workers gossip 'round the fountain
On the phone I answer all my parents' questions
but they don't believe I'm doing fine.
I would love the world back if my job started
a bit closer to nine.

The HR lady listed in the phone directory
Had inspiring cliches on posters and some quite bad news for me
She's already married, and she's not much older than me
I know how to use a comma, but she has an MBA degree...
After spending four years prostrate to the higher mind, I'm hoping
this month's rent is free.

Too broke to go the doctor, much less visit the mountains
Friends have acquired children; co-workers gossip 'round the fountain
On the phone I answer all my parents' questions
but they don't believe I'm doing fine.
I'd be much happier with the world if my job started
a bit closer to nine.

Neighbors upstairs kept me awake 'til 3 a.m.
Couldn't tell if they were moving out, or having sex again.
Woke up three hours later, still feeling sick and sore
Roughly twice as sleep-deprived as I was the day before.
I went in search of Claritin.

Too broke to go the doctor, much less visit the mountains
Friends have acquired children; co-workers gossip 'round the fountain
On the phone I answer all my parents' questions
but they don't believe I'm doing fine.
I would love the world back if my job started
a bit closer to nine, yeah.

Too broke to go the doctor, much less visit the mountains
Friends have acquired children; co-workers gossip 'round the fountain
On the phone I answer all my parents' questions
but they don't believe I'm doing fine.
I would love the world back if my job started
a bit closer to nine.

We spend all evening buying groceries, then forget to do our workouts
We read trashy foreign comics and mooch hooch off friends at cookouts
On the phone I answer all my parents' questions
but they don't believe I'm doing fine.
I would love the world back if my job started
a bit closer to nine
a bit closer to nine
a bit closer to nine.

Fin


I did not actually have a run-in with Human Resources; it just scans that way.

Comments

[rushthatspeaks.livejournal.com]

Wow. Wow. Brilliant, and I won't be getting over the Claritin any time soon.

[thespooniest.livejournal.com]

Quoth Sei: "That was the best thing EVER." I quite agree.

[foleyartist1.livejournal.com]

Claritin. Killed me.

[weirdquark]

Wow. This is, in fact, best.

[nightengalesknd.livejournal.com]

Oh. Wow. Class Song of 1920, the next generation.

[eredien]

Class song of 1920?

[nightengalesknd.livejournal.com]

It's an old BMC song, on my (now lost) Glory of Bryn Mawr tape. Have no idea if it's a parody or original melody. Goes something like this - Signy probably remembers the rest.

Class Song 1920

Oh after commencement was over
I waited around for the mob
That I had expected would gather
To find me an elegant job

I offered to sweep up the pavement
I tried to take fares on a car
I wished they would find me employment
At that bureau at distant Bryn Mawr

So to end all my pains I got married
as finances grew rather tight
[something something something]
For I read French and German at sight

The clergyman tied up the Gordian
And asked me if I would obey
And taking my little accordian
I sang him these words that I say

Yes yes yes I promisce to love you
And honor you with all my might
Although I'm a good bit above you
For I read French and German at sight

I swore at the butler in German (mein Gott)
In French, I scolded the maid
But they never studied at Bryn Mawr
So they misunderstood and they stayed

I never had need of a nursemaid
For baby was always quite good
I silenced her cries with a wordlist
As college bred mothers all should

For a time and with tears I relate it
My husband shot craps every night
But now he stays home in the evenings
And we read French and German at sight.

[greyhawk.livejournal.com]

Hehe! That's awesome!