I Get Better Spam than You

[eredien]

...I can't decide if this tops Meridel's, which said that she'd requested to be added to the mailing list through "an opt-in checkbox or the astral plane."

But it's definitely the best spam I've ever gotten. How do I get on these lists?

Subject: Dimensional Warp Generator Needed

Hello,

I'm a time traveler stuck here in 2003. Upon arriving here my dimensional warp generator stopped working. I trusted a company here by the name of LLC Lasers to repair my Generation 3 52 4350A watch unit, and they fled on me. I am going to need  a new DWG unit,   prefereably the rechargeable AMD wrist watch model with the GRC79 induction motor, four I80200 warp stabilizers, 512GB of SRAM and the menu driven GUI with front panel XID display.

I will take whatever model you have in stock, as long as its received certification  for being safe on carbon based life forms.

In terms of payment:
I dont have any Galactic Credits left. Payment can be made in platinum gold or 2003 currency upon safe delivery of unit.

INSTRUCTIONS MUST BE FOLLOWED EXACTLY:
Please transport unit in either a brown paper bag or box to below coordinates on Tuesday August 5th at (exactly 5:00pm) Eastern Standard Time on the dot. A few minutes prior will be ok, but it cannot be after. If you miss this timeframe please email me. I will not be there prior to 4:45pm EST, so do not transport before then.

Item is to be delivered at (out of service tennis court) located at: Latitude N 42.47935 & Longitude W 071.17355 and the Elevation is 119.
WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO TRANSPORT ITEM BY REGULAR MEANS OF TELEPORTATION. THEY ARE MONITORING AND WILL REDIRECT THE SIGNAL!!
I DO NOT CARE HOW YOU HAVE TO GET IT HERE, JUST DO IT IN A WAY THAT NO SPYING EYES WILL POSSIBLY BE ABLE TO REDIRECT THE TRANSFERENCE. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU BE ABLE TO MONITOR THE TRANSFER.
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IT SO THAT THEY CANNOT REDIRECT IT??? If in doubt do not transport actual unit until your method of transfer can be confirmed as a success. You just might need to send a intergalactic courier to deliver item safely to me. If so be VERY careful at how they approach me IN MY WHITE CAR.


After unit has been delivered please email me at:
with payment instructions. Do not reply directly back to this email.

Thank You

oar
bag nb xda ewjqgrgcytiljffsisnlxacqlmuggzntneyotz zb izsvrzhxkwgkxomgha za

Comments

[wayman.livejournal.com]

It's unclear what they mean by "elevation is 119" -- feet above sea level, I'm guessing, though I'm not sure how that comes into play (unless it will indicate that the time traveller will be floating or underground), but here's an image of those coordinates from 119 kilometers up (http://www.fourmilab.ch/cgi-bin/uncgi/Earth?lat=42.47935&ns=lNorth&lon=071.17355&ew=West&alt=119): looks like it's right near Boston. I'll find out the precise location, just give me a few minutes. . . . After all, we could send someone to the location in four hours just to see what happens!

[fiddledragon.livejournal.com]

wow...that's...impressive.

[wayman.livejournal.com]

It's in Woburn, Massachusetts (http://terraserver-usa.com/image.aspx?t=1&s=10&x=1600&y=23520&z=19&w=1) (link is a satellite photo with 1 meter resolution). Now working on correlating this to a street address. . . .

[khava.livejournal.com]

I got it yesterday, but with different coordinates. I posted it on my blog. The coordinates for mine were in Kyrjistan.

[wayman.livejournal.com]

I think you looked up east longitude by mistake; the text of your email is the same but for the date, and using those coordinates (but with east longitude) yields this (http://www.fourmilab.ch/cgi-bin/uncgi/Earth?lat=42.47935&ns=lNorth&lon=71.17355&ew=East&alt=35785) which looks about like Kyrjistan.

At least in Woburn our time travelling friend has access to a pretty good bus system :-)

[wayman.livejournal.com]

Satellite imagery at 2 meter resolution (http://terraserver-usa.com/image.aspx?t=1&s=11&x=800&y=11760&z=19&w=2)

Mapquest at the same scale of the same location (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?mqmap.x=276&mqmap.y=185&mapdata=EifUonSP7c1REOTqOXs%252fIiv7t6aLCAUUOttSagm7URTcUdWcXyRX5ZlASsSckT6%252ffG04pyKyUFB5PpaT4PW0kohGv6uX8mLofyqrNcCmLF78pVOJN0qDdaizdY6zV%252fEP0UR9uY21dPjcL2pXlt9M1MhuUn%252fQUNL5J0u6mHd%252fHMNmO%252fvMIi%252bE%252bopeXVV3fJyWrOMHNK9MdQ%252bOXXMx7a4wNu26pjeOI2mMM9Mj00xvKv29JNE4UMCRte4rgAAfgh%252b8Q8%252fbe6CgAJ3Pxlun56nWx5B9wW3K4QDY&click=move)

Mapquest's aerial photo of this locaiton (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?dtype=a&mapdata=EifUonSP7c1REOTqOXs%2fIiv7t6aLCAUUOttSagm7URTcUdWcXyRX5ZlASsSckT6%2ffG04pyKyUFB5PpaT4PW0kohGv6uX8mLofyqrNcCmLF78pVOJN0qDdaizdY6zV%2fEPWwQlIEj2zB4GJfdKw%2f7v7Z46HNlPjuAd4Gy6OG9UahBQb7ec2MCF%2bTrL%2fYTIos%2futHgs64BLIgqp8jmXbjh0HpYxpRHyRs%2fPgGkO3T5PHahbW474ounl3vgveOAnYQD0hObYiYNa2Rqu1N%2bjj2y2zF8j50A7gO4j)

Mapquest's aerial photo, zoomed in all the way (much closer than the Terraserver one, and in color!) (http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?mqmap.x=248&mqmap.y=235&mapdata=EifUonSP7c3qBGxa12omUKu%252booxBXTc1xAdlePd3sj9R6zFPi%252fTnmA5fql7Ri0mLmHNwpluwJmTCjM3QiHNJBVMkIZoYXf7KsCYfmYfXCOWe%252bTwytLf%252bLZmeSw%252fPodhHaBQC9GNcbvxX1J1yCYUC4MbnGzT%252bvdIp%252bhk4s2KEPQaXIF7fArNKlKTDmIVc0t5DOJHnhJlFIs1oDiLNuWpu89GnOLoQM5pDDnF74HAFXE%252fjCPFYtuiQmUF2B3OBsb%252bNcREdNtaADMT8w3GbS2QkF24tE311IfJ3&click=zoom)

Directions from Gerbilhouse (http://www.mapquest.com/directions/main.adp?zoom=5&mapdata=EifUonSP7c0KHXqgO1q2IVwicbabMAGSBqzh6MYBmF3J147QHsy031LRgWsSIa8X2Bn8Z3mcjFIFprxzQ7%2fZco0Vq3LRekCnPCxPDfsFCIfL%2bZceWl59DOItyAphqSVkSpmuvSVqgggsfAlJj4kUNViQYTXnnVNorDCH4BW%2bcBy7VFyrxV%2fVNqY%2f%2fxaIxVhMgmu%2fc6VyfhFioT4mTuhXbrFDVs27MNcMpV%2bDXYT1BUMdMWmowUqSVg%3d%3d&2n=MIDDLESEX%20COUNTY&1g=6jZ3GnRNO5Q%253d&1y=US&2a=%5b1%2d99%5d%20%20Bay%20St&1z=02140%2d2761&2s=MA&2c=Woburn&1l=VRdT6m%252bXVAc%253d&2ex=1&1n=MIDDLESEX%20COUNTY&2g=ulMrJTqjRwo%253d&did=1060103344&1a=6%20Arlington%20St&un=m&2y=US&2z=01801&1s=MA&1c=Cambridge&2l=AHqOC0Vxs8I%253d&go=1&ct=NA) -- it's only 8.17 miles and about 18 minutes.

The 350 bus (http://www.mbta.com/traveling_t/schedules_buses_findbus.asp?routenumber=350/351#) goes from Alewife out to Burlington, and passes within about half a mile of this location as it proceeds up Cambridge. The stop is before the Woburn/Burlington line (listed on the schedule as a 26-minute ride from Alewife). On the route map (PDF link from the bus schedule page), follow the compass rose's north arrow a distance about equal to the diameter of the compass rose.

[mithent.livejournal.com]

Heh... a bit of an obvious scam once you get the model description, but the whole time-traveller idea... my goodness. I just get people trying to sell me supposed prescription drugs illegally.

[fangtsu.livejournal.com]

*laughs* I'd be tempted to drive there if it was under 15 min away to smack him for being an idiot if it was even real!

[arcturax.livejournal.com]

http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=10844

This is also amusing, when you get the end, look at the name of the link to more information on the story and you'll see why to take it with a large grain of salt :P