I think you've probably got the message about the 'go to a doctor' thing by now. <:) I'd also echo cshiley in pointing out that health insurance is essential here -- if it does turn out to be a problem that's resolvable but not immediately, you'll need the benefits from a full-time job.
That said, don't give up hope on the creativity. First of all, there's no reason to believe, at this stage, that any loss of critical faculties is permanent. There's every chance that a change in circumstances (and possibly some medical treatment) will help restore them.
Secondly (and please forgive me for bringing it up if you've already tried this), full-time work doesn't have to preclude being creative. Although picking and choosing jobs isn't easy at the moment, there are still some that have a fair bit of downtime -- receptionist, tech support and probably a few others I can't think of at the moment.
Even if the computer systems at the workplace are locked down, you can still take a notepad into the office and jot down poems, song lyrics, snatches of dialogue... anything that will help you to regain confidence in your ability to produce works of art. You don't have to sketch out the entire plot for a five-novel saga; just jot down whatever comes to mind.
(The sort of thing I have in mind, although there's certainly no reason your output needs to be anything like it, is similar to these fiction vignettes.
*hug* Hang in there. Those of us reading your journal will continue to try and help if you need us to, I'm sure!
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4/9/10 21:30 (UTC)That said, don't give up hope on the creativity. First of all, there's no reason to believe, at this stage, that any loss of critical faculties is permanent. There's every chance that a change in circumstances (and possibly some medical treatment) will help restore them.
Secondly (and please forgive me for bringing it up if you've already tried this), full-time work doesn't have to preclude being creative. Although picking and choosing jobs isn't easy at the moment, there are still some that have a fair bit of downtime -- receptionist, tech support and probably a few others I can't think of at the moment.
Even if the computer systems at the workplace are locked down, you can still take a notepad into the office and jot down poems, song lyrics, snatches of dialogue... anything that will help you to regain confidence in your ability to produce works of art. You don't have to sketch out the entire plot for a five-novel saga; just jot down whatever comes to mind.
(The sort of thing I have in mind, although there's certainly no reason your output needs to be anything like it, is similar to these fiction vignettes.
*hug* Hang in there. Those of us reading your journal will continue to try and help if you need us to, I'm sure!