Stress

[eredien]

So I used to deal with my stress through:

- Writing
- Working obsessively

I have decided that these are not useful or healthy coping mechanisms for working through stress, as they both lead me to set the stress and problems aside and use the stress-energy on something productive/creative instead of on working through the stress, so at the end of the writing I still have the stress as much as before and am also tired from the hard work, I just also have a poem or essay.

This explains why I haven't been writing much lately (hint: it's not because I'm not stressed).

What other more healthy coping mechanisims do people use or recommend?

I have thought already about exercise but I worry that it, too, will turn into a thing I use to put aside the stress, only to come back to it later.

Is there anything that helps you process the stress and work through it?

Comments

[rax.livejournal.com]

I find that writing focused on or around the thing that's upsetting me can help me work through it rather than just avoid it. It leads to lots of bad poetry and long rants sitting locked up in my home directory, not things I would try to publish anywhere, but it can be very useful and sometimes even produce something good.

Another thing I do, alone or with a friend, is run "phantom conversations" where I pretend to talk with someone else about the issues I'm having and try to figure out what they would say about it. I used to do this with characters more than I do now; most of the time now I do it with friends, either in my head or over coffee. In my head is sometimes more productive, as it turns out :)

I also find exercise to be helpful because it distracts part of me while giving me space and time to think. This is part of why I like biking so much. Some exercise contexts work better than others for this. You really want to be able to get into a zone.

While I think I see why writing and working aren't necessarily sufficient, I wouldn't completely discount them as coping mechanisms. Writing can help you work out a lot of your demons in the subtext if you give it time; working can renew your faith in your own ability as a capable and competent creature. These aren't always sufficient, but they can help.

Love you. If I think of anything else, I can add it here.

[kaypendragon.livejournal.com]

A lot of the books suggest things like meditation and yoga.

Me? I walk. And like raxvulpine, I have imaginary conversations.

[blushingflower.livejournal.com]

It sort of depends on what's causing the stress. If it's work problems following you home, or just general anxiety that you can't actually solve, then finding a way not to think about it is productive.
If there's something specific that's bothering me, I write about whatever it is, because that's one of the ways I process. I process by talking, really, but writing is like talking in many ways (for me at least). Prayer is also good, because it's talking, and if you do it with a receptive attitude, you can sometimes figure out the solution to your problem, or at least the strength to deal with it.
Exercise can be very meditative, which is one of the reasons I don't like it (too much quiet thinky time and I can find reasons to be stressed out)

Also, for me, what I need to do is find a way to deal with the moment of panic and get my blood pressure down out of the stratosphere. Which usually involves deep breathing and either trying to work out worst-case scenarios and plan for them or logically eliminating the worst cases to help ease the panic (like when Planned Parenthood called me and left a message saying "call us back but don't worry"). Also occasionally show tunes and or hymns.

[thoughtsdriftby.livejournal.com]

Depends on the cause of the stress and the development of a less stressful perspective of events. Events occur beyond our direct control always. There is no world peace, poverty often exists amongst plenty, justice... I can choose not to help everyone and be content that I donate and make an effort to help some. I can help smooth things between co-workers, family, and those I come in contact with but I do not police the world as I go. It is hard being content and finding inner peace when all we do seems to be a continuous slogging up hill much as Atlas, the world on our shoulders.

It is hard to just do good and not worry always if it is your best and still be content that you are doing something positive just being in the world. It is possible to live with less money and fewer things. It is possible to enjoy moments in time and treasure them.

The sad bits life hands us... These have to be looked at for some direction to take. Not the best, but hopefully somewhat positive and causing the least damage. Then we do. We take a step forward without knowing fully (sometimes at all) where it may lead our lives and learn that overall the journey is to be discovered and continued.

So what is your stress and what do you choose to do?

[eredien]

Mon, Feb. 16th, 2009 09:59 am (local)

Thank you all for your comments.

I have decided that my approach to stressors will be multi-pronged:
1.) I will try and use some of my traditional de-stressors (writing, etc.) as de-stressors, since it has been pointed out to me that there's no reason to ditch them entirely, but neither is it good to make those activities dependent on stress.

2.) Exercise. Instead of it being a stressor (I should get more exercise!) it can and will be a de-stressor. I'm writing this from a treadmill so I feel pretty accomplished on this one already.

3.) Find new de-stressors. I already did this organically with cooking, but if I go and hunt new fun de-stressors down I will pick up new skills and gain a range of activities I can use when stressed.

4.) Cut down on stress in general. Going back to therapy on a weekly basis as well as praying and some walking meditation have helped with this so I should keep doing them. Also, gardening.

5.) Volunteering - reaching out to other people will help me feel more connected to people, and that I am doing something to combat issues and problems that I care about. I am going to be doing this by learning more about the world I live in (dealing with educating myself about racism) and also by actually volunteering. I have narrowed it down to a few possibilites: literacty volunteering, volunteering with teenagers, volunteering for LGBT rights issues, and volunteering for environmental issues. Ideally I would like to combine all of these things.

Edited at 2009-02-16 10:00 am (local)

[thoughtsdriftby.livejournal.com]

Sounds like a good mix and I would always encourage more gardening and cooking. :-)

Volunteering is a hard fit sometimes. The needs are well beyond any groups capabilities and many organizers will use guilt to take what they can. Churches, YWCA, youth groups, habitat, all have a variety of programs from serving food, working phones, political action... Since this is to be a learning process start there. Find out who they are and what they do. Check them out. On the political side, drop in on any open meetings or hearings in the area. City council, county council, school district, courts... Track down the various political dockets and see what is on their calendars. When these open for public comment more can sometimes be done with a well formed thought put to words. Oh, public officials... The city, county, and state have programs too. A few hours a week helping at a job center, public library... My sibling started out adding books in Spanish to a small library and taking on that portion of the children's summer reading program.

I just advise, keep it simple and for stable blocks of time. It's to pull the world up just a little bit and not by pulling you down. Can't save the world, but a bit less litter/pollution and a few more smiles/helping hands it is a better place.