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[personal profile] eredien
[Originally written 12-31-2007]. Cut-tagged 1-27-08.


I am not going to post a "what happened in 2007" meme; I don't want to look back and think about what I didn't do or what I should have done. I want to think about who I want to be at the end of 2008. Here are my New Year's Resolutions.

This year I am only going to make a few resolutions, in the hopes that I will stick to them.
I am going to make a concrete plan of how to get there.
And I am going to top-post them publicly, in the hope that I am too stubborn to give up on things I write down in front of other people.

1.) Writing
Problem: I am a lazy writer. When I get time to sit down I write well, but I never make that time for myself because I always believe that doing the dishes is going to be more important that day. Ergo, I never write.
Solution: I am going to take an hour from 8-9 pm every other day to write. If I don't take the time to tell the stories that are in my head, no one else will.

2.) Weight
Problem: I am fat. This is bad for my health and my emotions and my relationship with my fiancee and other people. I am also starting to experience chronic back pain.
Solution: I am going to get up at 6 am and exercise between 6 and 7 every day, doing taichi/qigoing and weightlifting.
I will take the month of April to get used to riding my bike around Somerville and Cambridge, and then I will start riding my bike short distances instead of taking the T. I will put a bike basket on my bike.
I will go to taichi class every Tuesday night.
I will eat 4-5 vegetables or fruits a day, because I have fallen into the "I'm a vegetarian" trap of eating pre-processed oversalted tofu bites.
I will drink at least 2 glasses of water a day.

3.) Music
Problem: I no longer do anything to create music in my life. Music brings me joy.
Solution: I will practice the piano for an hour after work every Friday.

4.) Headspace
Problem: My headspace is fractured. This impacts my memory and ability to express myself to people, even those I care about, for fear of being ridiculed. I have a persistent self-harm problem. I also have a belief that I lack the ability to express myself in conversation because I am awkward when speaking aloud. This is not true.
Solution: I will continue my search for a compatible therapist who takes my insurance in my area until I find one. Then I will go to the appointments whenever they are scheduled, no matter how awkward it makes me feel.

5.) Religion
Problem: I don't go to church anymore, because I am embarassed about crying every single time I go.
Solution: I will go to church every Sunday until I find a place I like, sit in the back, and then not worry about crying. It will go away eventually and then I will have an hour set aside to talk to God, like I need to.

6.) Finances
Problem: I don't keep good track of where my money goes.
Solution: I will write down every expense in my checkbook, even the ones I put on my debit card. I will place $25 biweekly in my savings account. At the end of the month, I will balance my checkbook and savings account.

7.) Intellectual
Problem: I am not getting enough intellectual stimulation.
Solution: I will continue getting math tutoring. I will take the GREs in June, July or August of 2008. I will apply to grad schools after my results come in, doing an hour of research a week on different programs I may be interested in from now until when I take the GREs. I will finish the Gormenghast novels by March 2008, and I will read Ulysses after that.

8.) Art
Problem: I am not doing enough art (drawing, sculpture, beadwork, webdesign).
Solution: I will take 1 hour biweekly on Sundays to do artwork, alternating with garden maintenance.

8.) Gardening
Problem: I planted a garden last year. It died because I didn't allocate time to water and fertilze it.
Solution: I will water the garden and houseplants every day in the summer, if needed.
I will continue to clean out the kitchen compost on a regular basis.
I will take 1 hour biweekly on Sundays to do gardening chores, alternating with art.

This post brought to you by the word structure, which helps me accomplish goals.
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