My letter in support of fuding for the SANE program/Genderqueer Fun!

CKD wrote earlier today about his support for the SANE program. If you haven't read his blog post on it or the Boston Herald's article about the SANE program in MA, please go and read it.

Basically, the SANE program provides nurses that have been specially trained to help all rape survivors emotionally while still giving compassionate medical care and getting forensic evidence. Their budget is getting cut 66% in the proposed 2010 FY budget, which means that services will be halved by mid-December and cut entirely by January. This is a proven program (12 years) with a track record of not only providing medical care and emotional support for the raped, but also many convictions for rapists. Without this program, many rape victims in MA would have to do what rape victims in many other states do: wait in the ER for many hours to be eventually seen by harried, busy ER healthcare personnel with little to no specalized training in providing compassionate care for rape victims specifically.

There is more info at the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center's website, along with info on how to find your MA state rep. or senator.

There are also some other bills under consideration by the MA House and Sentate:
- Having to do with getting restraining orders against stalkers who are not related to you or who have not been in a relationship with you.
- Making it easier for people who have suffered rape, sexual assault, or rape in the home to do things like change locks or break their lease without penalty if they have to move for their own safety.
- Protecting gender expression or identity in state law in the same way that race, religion, or disability is now protected against discrimination under state law.

I have to admit, I now feel that creating endless categories of people for whom discrimination is a problem, and then enshrining those categories in law is not the best solution, or even a possible solution, to the problem of bias/discrimination, since there will constantly be new categories being created (thanks for suggesting a sane solution to the problem that protects minorities as well as majorities, "Covering!") But I would also like my fiancee rax not to get fired from her job, and I would like to feel safe going to the grocery store as a genderqueer woman. So, I wrote this letter:

( Dear Representative Provost )

Then, I wrote another letter to my mom about it. My mom is a healthcare worker for the county in which I grew up. She cried when she found out I was queer and told me it was her fault and that I should never get married and should try to date boys because I was bi and it was easier, but threw condoms at people during Woodstock '99 and told us about STDs over the dinner table and threw an engagement party for me and rax and my sister and her fiance this year after reading Ellen's mother's book (yeah, that's my mom). I don't know if she knows people in MA who are involved in healthcare, government, and politics, who might be able to read my letter to her and actually get something moving with any of these bills, but I wrote her anyway, because if she did, and she has a higher chance of it than me, then it was better than not writing to her.

And I told her about the other bills, and did a little arrow, like this, <, next to the Gender identity bill, and said "this would really help me and my friends." And then I deleted "me." And then I added it back in again, and sighed, and said, "oh God, now she's really going to worry about me," and then I thought, "well, better she know what to worry about and be able to help with the actual problems I am having than manufacture things to worry about that aren't real." (yeah, that's my mom.)

And then I pressed send, because if I can write to Representative Provost and tell her I am genderqueer, then I can write to my mom and tell her the same thing, and arguably should.

I dunno if I'm going to regret this decision. I dunno if she's even going to notice the litte arrow and the one line of text. I dunno what I am going to say if she calls me and says, "so does this mean you're really a boy?" and start crying or if my dad is like, "why do you do these things to hurt your mother?"

But I know that even if they don't understand and can't accept my position, or hold another position, or think falsely that I took the position I did deliberately to hurt them, better for me to say what my position is--truthfully--so that I can start talking with them about why I make the decisions I make, and how their decisions affect me and how my decisions affect them, so we can start to talk, and recognize that we can talk and love each other even if--especially if--we disagree, and that love is stronger than that disagreement. I guess I feel that if the disagreement goes unacknowledged out of fear of hurting them by disagreeing, then I'm hurting them anyway, because then I feel like I can't disagree with them on anything, and am lying to them about my position and its effects besides. If my positions are strong enough, they will stand up to disagreement, and if they are not, then I ought to decide how and why I will change them, especially if it's at the behest of my loved ones.

I kinda want to call her and I kinda don't. I also have to ask her to please stop nicknaming me. Maybe I should just call.