Paper

[eredien]

I have reached that point of the semester where the only writing I want to do is the writing that I want to do, and there's reams of that.

But I still have nine more pages of this paper to write.
I hate feeling like I don't want to write a paper; I know it'll turn out like crap.
Especially if I can't make myself be interested in the subject.
Especially if it's a class I really enjoyed with a favorite professor.
Especially if the subject is "how did this author insert themselves into the text?"--a subject near and dear to my heart--and one of the texts I'm using is one of my personally favorite poems, To Penshurst (I used it in a desperate attempt to trick myself into wanting to finish this stupid thing).
Especially if one of my motivations is "if you finish this paper you'll be done with work for the semester and only a thesis and two classes away from finishing your degree and you'll be able to go live in Boston with people who are dear to you and live a wonderful life," and I still can't get it done.


I wanted to write this and that was no trouble. I already must have turned out over 1,000 words today on lj--a third of the paper length.
But does that make me feel any better? No. Because I don't want to write the stupid paper.
Did I mention that the only writing I want to do anymore is writing that I want to do?

Sigh. I go back to Microsoft Word now, hating it.