![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
My letter in support of fuding for the SANE program/Genderqueer Fun!
CKD wrote earlier today about his support for the SANE program. If you haven't read his blog post on it or the Boston Herald's article about the SANE program in MA, please go and read it.
Basically, the SANE program provides nurses that have been specially trained to help all rape survivors emotionally while still giving compassionate medical care and getting forensic evidence. Their budget is getting cut 66% in the proposed 2010 FY budget, which means that services will be halved by mid-December and cut entirely by January. This is a proven program (12 years) with a track record of not only providing medical care and emotional support for the raped, but also many convictions for rapists. Without this program, many rape victims in MA would have to do what rape victims in many other states do: wait in the ER for many hours to be eventually seen by harried, busy ER healthcare personnel with little to no specalized training in providing compassionate care for rape victims specifically.
There is more info at the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center's website, along with info on how to find your MA state rep. or senator.
There are also some other bills under consideration by the MA House and Sentate:
- Having to do with getting restraining orders against stalkers who are not related to you or who have not been in a relationship with you.
- Making it easier for people who have suffered rape, sexual assault, or rape in the home to do things like change locks or break their lease without penalty if they have to move for their own safety.
- Protecting gender expression or identity in state law in the same way that race, religion, or disability is now protected against discrimination under state law.
I have to admit, I now feel that creating endless categories of people for whom discrimination is a problem, and then enshrining those categories in law is not the best solution, or even a possible solution, to the problem of bias/discrimination, since there will constantly be new categories being created (thanks for suggesting a sane solution to the problem that protects minorities as well as majorities, "Covering!") But I would also like my fiancee![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rax not to get fired from her job, and I would like to feel safe going to the grocery store as a genderqueer woman. So, I wrote this letter:
I am writing you to ask you to support acts HB 1728 (An Act Relative to Gender-Based Discrimination and Hate Crimes) and HB 1747 (An Act Relative to Housing Discrimination Against Victims of Domestic Violence Rape, Sexual Assault and Stalking).
"Hey, are you a boy or a girl? Hey! HEY!" I bet no one has ever shouted this at you, but it's been shouted at me. I was standing in the grocery store checkout line in my yoga pants and a tshirt. I'm a writer; the local bookstore next to the grocery carries my book. I had just decided that I would go there and see if they needed more books after I checked out. But then they started shouting at me. "Are you a boy or a girl? Well?" I didn't look at them, I didn't speak to them, but they kept yelling at me and laughing. I was worried that they were going to catch up with me in the parking lot, so I paid for my milk and left as fast as possible, deciding my bookstore visit--my career--could wait for a time when I wasn't worried someone was going to try and beat me up.
I'm a genderqueer woman. What that means to me personally is that I am a woman who sometimes chooses to express her gender in ways that aren't considered traditionally "feminine": I keep my hair short, I sometimes likes to dress in clothing that deliberately confuses my gender or makes me appear androgynous; I don't wear pink a lot.
The fact that I personally feel compelled to examine gender boundaries through my clothing shouldn't subject me to harassment at the grocery store or make me worried that maybe my gym is going to revoke my membership because I am making the trainers nervous because I let them call me both "ma'am" and "sir."
I know many other genderqueer and transgendered people who have been harassed on multiple occasions for being themselves, or for otherwise not being who the person harassing them thinks they should be. It needs to stop. You need to stand up and tell people, "this hate is not ok." Please support HB 1728.
Please also support HB 1747. What happens to those of any gender or age who are assaulted or raped, or were assaulted by a total stranger, or by their partner? We have to give those people safe places to go--and if the abuse is happening at home it isn't a safe place--it has to be made easier for people in that kind of bad situation to leave without incurring things like lease penalities on top of abuse already suffered. Please support HB 1747, which will give survivors options like lock provisions, and lease protections, which will help insure a safer living situation.
Thank you.
Then, I wrote another letter to my mom about it. My mom is a healthcare worker for the county in which I grew up. She cried when she found out I was queer and told me it was her fault and that I should never get married and should try to date boys because I was bi and it was easier, but threw condoms at people during Woodstock '99 and told us about STDs over the dinner table and threw an engagement party for me andrax and my sister and her fiance this year after reading Ellen's mother's book (yeah, that's my mom). I don't know if she knows people in MA who are involved in healthcare, government, and politics, who might be able to read my letter to her and actually get something moving with any of these bills, but I wrote her anyway, because if she did, and she has a higher chance of it than me, then it was better than not writing to her.
And I told her about the other bills, and did a little arrow, like this, <, next to the Gender identity bill, and said "this would really help me and my friends." And then I deleted "me." And then I added it back in again, and sighed, and said, "oh God, now she's really going to worry about me," and then I thought, "well, better she know what to worry about and be able to help with the actual problems I am having than manufacture things to worry about that aren't real." (yeah, that's my mom.)
And then I pressed send, because if I can write to Representative Provost and tell her I am genderqueer, then I can write to my mom and tell her the same thing, and arguably should.
I dunno if I'm going to regret this decision. I dunno if she's even going to notice the litte arrow and the one line of text. I dunno what I am going to say if she calls me and says, "so does this mean you're really a boy?" and start crying or if my dad is like, "why do you do these things to hurt your mother?"
But I know that even if they don't understand and can't accept my position, or hold another position, or think falsely that I took the position I did deliberately to hurt them, better for me to say what my position is--truthfully--so that I can start talking with them about why I make the decisions I make, and how their decisions affect me and how my decisions affect them, so we can start to talk, and recognize that we can talk and love each other even if--especially if--we disagree, and that love is stronger than that disagreement. I guess I feel that if the disagreement goes unacknowledged out of fear of hurting them by disagreeing, then I'm hurting them anyway, because then I feel like I can't disagree with them on anything, and am lying to them about my position and its effects besides. If my positions are strong enough, they will stand up to disagreement, and if they are not, then I ought to decide how and why I will change them, especially if it's at the behest of my loved ones.
I kinda want to call her and I kinda don't. I also have to ask her to please stop nicknaming me. Maybe I should just call.
Basically, the SANE program provides nurses that have been specially trained to help all rape survivors emotionally while still giving compassionate medical care and getting forensic evidence. Their budget is getting cut 66% in the proposed 2010 FY budget, which means that services will be halved by mid-December and cut entirely by January. This is a proven program (12 years) with a track record of not only providing medical care and emotional support for the raped, but also many convictions for rapists. Without this program, many rape victims in MA would have to do what rape victims in many other states do: wait in the ER for many hours to be eventually seen by harried, busy ER healthcare personnel with little to no specalized training in providing compassionate care for rape victims specifically.
There is more info at the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center's website, along with info on how to find your MA state rep. or senator.
There are also some other bills under consideration by the MA House and Sentate:
- Having to do with getting restraining orders against stalkers who are not related to you or who have not been in a relationship with you.
- Making it easier for people who have suffered rape, sexual assault, or rape in the home to do things like change locks or break their lease without penalty if they have to move for their own safety.
- Protecting gender expression or identity in state law in the same way that race, religion, or disability is now protected against discrimination under state law.
I have to admit, I now feel that creating endless categories of people for whom discrimination is a problem, and then enshrining those categories in law is not the best solution, or even a possible solution, to the problem of bias/discrimination, since there will constantly be new categories being created (thanks for suggesting a sane solution to the problem that protects minorities as well as majorities, "Covering!") But I would also like my fiancee
rax not to get fired from her job, and I would like to feel safe going to the grocery store as a genderqueer woman. So, I wrote this letter:I am writing you to ask you to support acts HB 1728 (An Act Relative to Gender-Based Discrimination and Hate Crimes) and HB 1747 (An Act Relative to Housing Discrimination Against Victims of Domestic Violence Rape, Sexual Assault and Stalking).
"Hey, are you a boy or a girl? Hey! HEY!" I bet no one has ever shouted this at you, but it's been shouted at me. I was standing in the grocery store checkout line in my yoga pants and a tshirt. I'm a writer; the local bookstore next to the grocery carries my book. I had just decided that I would go there and see if they needed more books after I checked out. But then they started shouting at me. "Are you a boy or a girl? Well?" I didn't look at them, I didn't speak to them, but they kept yelling at me and laughing. I was worried that they were going to catch up with me in the parking lot, so I paid for my milk and left as fast as possible, deciding my bookstore visit--my career--could wait for a time when I wasn't worried someone was going to try and beat me up.
I'm a genderqueer woman. What that means to me personally is that I am a woman who sometimes chooses to express her gender in ways that aren't considered traditionally "feminine": I keep my hair short, I sometimes likes to dress in clothing that deliberately confuses my gender or makes me appear androgynous; I don't wear pink a lot.
The fact that I personally feel compelled to examine gender boundaries through my clothing shouldn't subject me to harassment at the grocery store or make me worried that maybe my gym is going to revoke my membership because I am making the trainers nervous because I let them call me both "ma'am" and "sir."
I know many other genderqueer and transgendered people who have been harassed on multiple occasions for being themselves, or for otherwise not being who the person harassing them thinks they should be. It needs to stop. You need to stand up and tell people, "this hate is not ok." Please support HB 1728.
Please also support HB 1747. What happens to those of any gender or age who are assaulted or raped, or were assaulted by a total stranger, or by their partner? We have to give those people safe places to go--and if the abuse is happening at home it isn't a safe place--it has to be made easier for people in that kind of bad situation to leave without incurring things like lease penalities on top of abuse already suffered. Please support HB 1747, which will give survivors options like lock provisions, and lease protections, which will help insure a safer living situation.
Thank you.
Then, I wrote another letter to my mom about it. My mom is a healthcare worker for the county in which I grew up. She cried when she found out I was queer and told me it was her fault and that I should never get married and should try to date boys because I was bi and it was easier, but threw condoms at people during Woodstock '99 and told us about STDs over the dinner table and threw an engagement party for me and
rax and my sister and her fiance this year after reading Ellen's mother's book (yeah, that's my mom). I don't know if she knows people in MA who are involved in healthcare, government, and politics, who might be able to read my letter to her and actually get something moving with any of these bills, but I wrote her anyway, because if she did, and she has a higher chance of it than me, then it was better than not writing to her.And I told her about the other bills, and did a little arrow, like this, <, next to the Gender identity bill, and said "this would really help me and my friends." And then I deleted "me." And then I added it back in again, and sighed, and said, "oh God, now she's really going to worry about me," and then I thought, "well, better she know what to worry about and be able to help with the actual problems I am having than manufacture things to worry about that aren't real." (yeah, that's my mom.)
And then I pressed send, because if I can write to Representative Provost and tell her I am genderqueer, then I can write to my mom and tell her the same thing, and arguably should.
I dunno if I'm going to regret this decision. I dunno if she's even going to notice the litte arrow and the one line of text. I dunno what I am going to say if she calls me and says, "so does this mean you're really a boy?" and start crying or if my dad is like, "why do you do these things to hurt your mother?"
But I know that even if they don't understand and can't accept my position, or hold another position, or think falsely that I took the position I did deliberately to hurt them, better for me to say what my position is--truthfully--so that I can start talking with them about why I make the decisions I make, and how their decisions affect me and how my decisions affect them, so we can start to talk, and recognize that we can talk and love each other even if--especially if--we disagree, and that love is stronger than that disagreement. I guess I feel that if the disagreement goes unacknowledged out of fear of hurting them by disagreeing, then I'm hurting them anyway, because then I feel like I can't disagree with them on anything, and am lying to them about my position and its effects besides. If my positions are strong enough, they will stand up to disagreement, and if they are not, then I ought to decide how and why I will change them, especially if it's at the behest of my loved ones.
I kinda want to call her and I kinda don't. I also have to ask her to please stop nicknaming me. Maybe I should just call.
no subject
Also, wishing you luck with your parents. You did a brave and rational thing, I hope the response is equally reasonable.
no subject
So I count it as a net win.
(To be clear: there are 3 bills and one budget-cut thing.)
no subject
It would be interesting to know whether unfortunate circumstances you've experienced already count as harassment and are therefore already illegal.
I'm wondering what's really going to happen with the lack of funding for that program for nurses trained in providing emotional support. I would expect that nurses who have been trained in the past will continue to work in health care in some capacity. They might even end up continuing to work in emergency rooms, even if they are no longer on the payroll of that program. (It sounds like that program not only was paying for training, but also for having those nurses in the ERs?)
Who's your state senator? It can often be worthwhile to write to the people who represent you in both halves of the legislature.
no subject
This wiki pagediscusses current state law as relates to gender. "Gender" is in there, and "Gender identity is encompassed in the terms "sex" and "disability," according to two October 2001 Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination rulings. Millett V. Luttco, MCAD No. 98-BEM-3695 (Oct. 11, 2001) and Jette v. Honey Farino Mini Market, MCAD No. 95-SEM-0421 (Oct. 11, 2001). " However, gender expression is not in the current statues. Also, gender identity would be put in explicitly, not implicitly.
The full text of the house bill is here. The full text of the senate bill is here.
IIRC, there are studies showing that longer jail terms don't actually deter crime at all.
I am not sure if "more people in jail" and/or "more jail time" is ever a good way to stop a problem in the long term, esp. given the incredible incarceration rates in our country. I am also going to try to reasearch alternate penalties other than jail time, and, where possible, push those. However, it seems to me that waiting to pass antidiscrimination laws until we have worked out something more just/equitable than our current jail system is going to take a while, and I would personally like to feel safer in the grocery store before 2050.
...no prosecutor was ever going to prosecute under that [gang] law, because it required proving that several different things were happening together, and it was just easier to prosecute any one of those things, which were each already illegal by themselves.
It would be interesting to know whether unfortunate circumstances you've experienced already count as harassment and are therefore already illegal.
As I understand it, I was being harassed because of my presentation/clothing--my gender expression--rather than my gender identity (which was invisible at the time, as my tshirt did not say "I'm genderqueer!") So, as I understand the law that I have read, what I experienced was not, and is still not, technically considered harassment or illegal.
I also wrote my state senator, and the governor (about the SANE program) but did not post that letter here.
As for the lack of SANE funding/programming:
Here is an overview from the MA dept of Health & Human Services of what the SANE nurses actually do.
I believe that the nurses would of course likely continue to work in healthcare, and even possibly in an ER, but the rapid-response of the SANE program and the 4-hour-solid forensic exam to get evidence wouldn't necessarily be done by the same person throughout, and those someone(s) may not be trained in the care of sexual assault victims or in the latest forensic technique. As I understand it, this is crucial in getting forensic evidence that is both time-sensitive and accurate.
An '08 Boston Globe Interview with a SANE nurse
no subject
no subject
I already came out as bi (technically, pan-sexual or whatever the new word is, since I'm also attracted to genderqueer people and not just men/women) to my family, so I feel like coming out as genderqueer is not going to be as huge a deal. I've always been kind of a tomboy and was only sad when I felt like I could only be a woman by being "feminine." And like I said, maybe mom won't even notice it.