Life & Religion

[eredien]

Had a lovely dinner last night with baaaaaaaaaah and meanfreepath. It was great to see S. again and catch up with her; it turns out that meanfreepath lives literally a block away and we are going to get together and play games.

I am currently in the process of making major life changes. Something that I suspect will be big and important, and sucks really hard, hit me upside the head about 20 minutes ago; no, I'm not ready to talk about it yet, if at all.

That's on top of trying to deal with religion. I don't know if I'm going to be living in the Boston area in the next few years--it depends on if rax decides to go for a PhD around here or not--but I've decided that it's time to move on from being a queer who's scared to be Christian, just like I moved on from being a Christian who's scared to be queer. I need to deal with the lack of a faith community in my life, and there's one easy way that I can do that: get my ass to a faith community. There's two churches I've been to in the area which I liked:

First Church Somerville UCC - I felt comfortable here the few times I went. That might be a problem, as I think that too much comfortability can be a drawback in a church (comfortability is good; too much is bad, IMO). A lot of the population of this church seemed white and in their mid-20's to mid-50's when I went in the summer, though when I went for Advent last winter there were some more older people in greater evidence. They sent me a mug. Their main pastor is a woman, which is cool. Stuff I find problematic:
- I like their stance on gay rights, can't help but like it, but it's inherently political to fly a rainbow flag outside of a church. It's also inherently religious (at least in the USA). It's also my cause. But places of worship which play overt politics games bother me. (I'm well-aware that individual places of worship in specific, and organized religion in general, both play internal and external and overt and covert and intra-faith and intra-denominational politics games, and have for centuries; they're institutions run by people. Thanks.) Should faith inform political stances for people of faith? Yes--in fact, I think it would be dishonest not to have faith inform a political stance for people of faith. Should people of faith speak up about injustice and combat it where they see it? Yes. So why am I still so conflicted about a church making an overt inherently political statement, especially as it's in support of a cause I agree with and which my life is part of, and one which I think people need to be overt about? Probably becauase integrating faith and sexuality is hard in any case, and I personally am still angry at my faith for making my sexuality harder and my sexuality for making my faith harder. (But I have determined that whining about that is not helping either cause, so I am going to try to do something to strengthen my faith which will also strengthen the rest of my life, incl. sexuality).
- The UCC is a non-creedal church: there is nothing you have to believe in order to belong. Somewhat discouraging. I can not believe something at home and be able to sleep in. Why bother showing up if I don't have to believe anything?

St. James' Episcopalian Church - welcoming; I have friends I know who go there and are involved in church life & committees there (younger people involved in church life--always a good sign). Diverse in terms of race and age with a healthy mix of college students, families, old people, etc. Gorgeous building. Moravian star over baptismal font, which is kind of awesome. Seems to do interesting missionary work, though I want to research more into what it is they are actually doing and where they are going. Does not make me feel as comfortable as UCC though I think perhaps that is a good thing. Stuff I find problematic:
- I don't beieve in saints; sermons taking place on 'St. X's day' make my very protestant-tradition-steeped heart nervous. There are good people and were good people who are Christian and did some amazing stuff, but I don't want to pray to them. More research needs to be done in terms of theology impacting practice.
- Worried about hierarchial relationship structure of Episcopalian church.
- Episcopalian church in US currently going through protracted and sometimes nasty theological debate surrounding gay people in life of church, ordination for gays, gay marriage, etc., with possible schism in the near future. Don't really want to be a poster child, and don't want to join a church only to be told I can't get married in it.

Thoughts welcome, esp. from local folks and/or folks involved in churches.

Comments

[sovay]

That might be a problem, as I think that too much comfortability can be a drawback in a church (comfortability is good; too much is bad, IMO).

Explain?

[eredien]

I believe that a church can become a social club in additon to or instead of concentrating on God.

Religious organizations are inherently social organizations, as they are made of people, and people are social animals. I think that it is good for friends to see each other, whether in a religious space or elsewhere, but I think that if the main point of going to a religious space has become seeing friends who gather in that space, that it is easier to just throw a party instead.

Can religious people celebrate, and can they celebrate together? Certainly, and they should; that's one of the main fuctions of a religious venue and a religious congregation! (As far as I'm concerned, I think celebration during worship is Biblically condoned for Christians; Jesus' first miracle ended up with saving all the good wine for last at a party.)

I think it is problematic when as a self-labeled professor of a faith, time after time, the only reason you ever go to your place of worship is to see your friends, rather than professing said faith.

Now that I have said that, I am going to backtrack a little: I think that sometimes it is ok to start out with the idea that you are going to a religious space to see your friends. I know that sometimes having that rationale got me to a religious space--literally a building, as well as figuratively, inside my head--when I very much didn't feel like worshipping. The act of being surrounded by friends who also were there to worship, in a space designated for worship, started focusing me on worship once I got there. That, I found very valuable, even life-saving.

This may be different for people who do not profess a faith but come regularly to a place of worship to see friends of faith, or who profess a different faith from the one in any particular house of worship, but I won't presume to speak for those people, since I don't know the inside of their head and mind. (I know I have felt simulntaneously both welcome and unwelcome in spaces of worship--with a different Christian, or non-Christian, tradition than my own--but I wasn't going back every week to see friends while I was in those spaces).

[navrins]

I respect this.

One of the major factors that put me off from the "conservative Judaism" with which I was raised was the growing feeling that nobody in the "Jewish" community actually believed any of the religious things they were saying. That to them, being Jewish and going to services and using the symbols and reading the readings was *all* about a sense of community, and *nothing* about the words they were speaking, the meanings of the symbols, or the purposes of the services.

I have since realized that, to whatever extent that may have been true of *that* "religious community," it isn't true of all of them. And also that community is valuable.

I don't share your faith, but I very much respect your choice to treat it seriously at the times that are about it.

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

that's interesting, because I assumed that you were talking about the importance of having a religious space that occasionally challenges you to think about and act on your faith, rather than simply patting you on the head for being in church.

[eredien]

I am. I was trying to explain that I didn't want a church that patted me on the head for being in church, and I didn't want a church that patted me on the head for being gay in church either. I was just trying to explain the concept of why there might be a church that would pat you on the head for attending, and how that can be welcoming to those traditionally outside the mainstream churched, but how that can rapidly become bad.