Grump

[eredien]

My parents are going to come with me to Boston to help me move in and "get the who, what, where, when, just as they always have." Oh, imagine my joy. Can we please clean the place up? Otherwise my mother will not let me stay there. (Honestly, I'd like it a bit cleaner, too. Just a little. I will be happy to help keep it that way.)

Consoling myself by looking for tickets to UK. Date set on 19th or 20th of December.

Don't care they don't think quitting job is a good idea. Don't care, don't care, don't care.


I really, really wish I could have dreams about topics other than:
- How much I miss Bryn Mawr.
- Dragons.
- Sex.

For the past two months, guess what? No other dreams! Occasionally, they start out appearing like they're going to be something else, but...nope. At least it's always the three seperately, and not together.

It's like my subconsious is kicking me, saying, "hey, you're repressed! Let's dream about stuff you've got major angst over so you won't go completely insane during the daytime!"

It's worst when I wake up, though; like a mental hangover. I am constantly shocked, then depressed, to see the walls of my own bedroom.

Can't do much about the first; that part of life is over.
Can't do much about the second; that part of life will get as good as it ever does when I leave here and am again free to express as much of that as I can in my daily life.
Can't do much about the third part except try really hard not to think about snuggling up to my friend Aaron--on whom I've had a low-level crush since highschool--when he shows me odd movies weekly.

Yay. Mental suckage. Hit self with metaphorical cinderblocks, block it out by writing as a dragon for twenty minutes with Rabidfangurl, maybe it will go away. Nope. Shit.


I will now go post as Hatori to Angst Anonymous.

Comments

[foleyartist1.livejournal.com]

Sorry I didn't get your ping till you'd gone to bed--it's an hour earlier here, so I was doing yoga. Let's try again soon?

[eredien]

Sure. We should schedule a time?

It's a...two-hour time difference? Or just one?

[lotusbiosm.livejournal.com]

Well, if it weren't for the London/Boston bits, I'd say go for it with Aaron. That's how I got started with Gabe- there was cuddling. And then... (things we don't talk about in public fora).

I know what you mean though- I have dreams like that. And then I have dreams where I'm dating two guys at once, and there's kissing. I miss kissing. But I feel like my subconscious is telling me I'm trying to serve two masters. Oh well. Be glad you're not dreaming about having sex as a dragon at Bryn Mawr...

[copperwolf.livejournal.com]

Despite happily cohabitating with Darial, from time to time I dream snuggly dreams about a boy whom I barely had a crush on in high school, whom I haven't seen since then, and who is now married. I don't understand why my brain fixated on him, and I find it unsettling.

Good luck in working your way to freedom. I know a little bit about that.

Dreams...

[breimh.livejournal.com]

I don't think your dreams are telling you that you're repressed, so much as you're taking a big step and your subconcious is trying to deal with it in a way that is both comforting and familiar (dreams of Bryn Mawr and dragons)... and you should consider the sex part as just a form of intimacy, not physical release of anything being repressed, with those you trust deep down.

*hugs* Remember, not all answers are so cut and dried that a psychology book, or our parents or friends, can tell us what it means. We must delve deeper, and come to understand our own ideals and perceptions of what things mean to us on an intuitive, deeply subconscious level.

So, think more on your dreams, if you're only/continually having those types of dreams. What are they really saying? Think of it as your spirit trying to tell your rational mind something it needs desperately to hear, but the spirit is speaking in a language you don't quite understand. Using pantomime and body language often helps two people who don't have a common language; with the spirit and the mind it's imagery instead of pantomime. }:=*)

Good luck with your move, your trip, and this path of discovery. *snugs*

[batshua]

Hugs.