I would be worrying about money and a job with health insurance first, and one that pays enough to get an apartment, and then worry about art and writing and all that second. Hierarchy of needs, yanno?

I took this position for the last 5 years, thinking I could get to art later when I had money and time and energy, and having a full time job never gave me those things, and took other things away from me, and it eventually got me here. My hierarchy of needs is not yours.

I'm not angry at you or others for suggesting that there is a hierarchy of needs, but I am angry at you and others for ignoring what I already said about how I've tried that approach and I know that it didn't seem to work for me. I thought I could do this, and worked from 2005-2010 in jobs that I thought would let me do this, and it didn't happen...I don't want to squander another half-decade of my life pretending like I'm going to write a novel, but knowing full well it's not going to happen because I've got no time or energy.